This is something I’ve always feared. I really do not know how to face it. I thought the moment came too soon, and I am still not ready and unwilling to grasp the real meaning of it. Nobody taught me how to cope with this kind of situation. I am feeling really helpless now.

But he has started to try to make me understand, willing me to be able to handle the situation when the time arrives. He did not force me to face it, no, he merely guide me step by step, occasionally trying to maneavour this topic into our daily conversations. And it made me sad.

I am still not able to comprehend the whole situation. Or rather, I simply refused to believe that it is time for me to grow up, for them to grow old. The whole idea is too scary to think of. Am I afraid? Yes, I guess. And I also think that I have not done enough for them. There are so many things I need to do for them, so many words I need to tell them.

Nevertheless, if  it has been decided like this, I guess I will have to accept it. And I will have to face it with courage. If they are not afraid, then I shouldn’t be too. After all, without them,, there wouldn’t be me.

To understand death, you must first live. And I think they lived well.